I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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