i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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