You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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