evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
