i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize