I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
