How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
