so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
