I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
