Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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