I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
