she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
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that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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