Umm I'm too high to move.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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