apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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