it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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