$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
