Porn is love you can see.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
