I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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