the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
