is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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