STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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