I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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