Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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