i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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