hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
