Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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