I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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