i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
