Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
