The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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