I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
