I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
