he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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