I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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