I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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