Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize