so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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