Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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