I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
