are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
