i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize