yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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