I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
