i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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