i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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