so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
