did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
