Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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