Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
