How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
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we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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