We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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