i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
