I bet he comes in French.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
