I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
