He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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