You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Your penis caused this!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
