thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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