Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
