I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
