Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
