Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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