I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
