Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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